Typical morning

Jake is such a character...he really is "different".

This is my morning with Jake far.

7:30 - Wakes me up by coming into my room with a prescription tube of cream for his eczema. "Mom put this on my arm because I think bugs are crawling on my skin and making me itch".

I go downstairs and ask what he wants for breakfast. He answers me with , "Bleep blorp" because he is wearing a soccer ball Easter basket on his head as a helmet and apparently he is now an alien astronaut. Then he says, "Hey mom, can I wear this for Halloween? Can we go to Shelby's house today and tell her it's Halloween and then she can give us candy".
Me - "you can wear that for Halloween, but we are not going to lie to Shelby and make her give you candy. You just have to wait until Halloween".
Jake- "okay, but do you think they sell Austin costumes?"
Me - " Now you want to be a backyardigan? I thought you wanted to wear that soccer ball on your head?"
Jake- "I do! I am going to be Austin soccer ball head martian".

I get the child some cereal and come upstairs to read email. He pops back up here pretty quickly and proceeds to tell me that I am required to give him "ten thousand one hundred million fifty six dollars" when he scores a goal tonight at soccer. Whatever!
Then he goes onto his tirade of questions that require no answer, nor does he wait for a response.

- I am going to play for the Indians. I'm a good batter.
- Do I need a blue bat or a brown one?
- I think I'll play for the Dodgers too because I miss Casey Blake.
- Is it winter? It's cold outside (yells out the window, "hello winter")
-Mom, can we go outside when it's cold?
- Is Alex coming to my game tonight? She will give me 26 billion dollars for every goal and then I am buying toys and a cool shirt.
-Logan has a Wii , but he doesn't play it because his mom said he's little.
- I am getting bigger cuz I drank milk today.
- what color is my tongue?
- If I lived in Bikini bottom I would be spongebob and you can be one of the fish in the Krusty Krab and I will make you a Krabby Patty.
- Dad can be Squidward, but he never eats so I am not cooking for him.
- what time is it?
- When's my game? Can we go now and wait?

Suddenly he leaves the room and comes back dressed in his soccer uniform. The game is only 9 hours away...tick tock...

- Mom, I am scoring a lot a lot a lot a lot of goals tonight.
- I think it's warmer now, can we go outside and play soccer?
- I think you are pretty. (his form of bribery I guess)
- How do you spell Noah? Is it N O? His name says "no"...hhhaaahahaa
- I don't want to spell Haliegh cuz it's to big, but I can spell Alex, A - l - e- x
- I can do a better cartwheel than Mikaela, but Alex does a better one than me
- I'm gonna go watch tv

Sheesh....that is like in 10 minutes time with a lot of swinging a bat, jumping on the bed and kicking a ball mixed in. He's so silly, that child. I'm sure anyone else with a child under the age of 8 can relate. Your ears get tired!!