Picture time!

Oh yes, it's that wonderful time of year when we dress the kids up and try to take their pictures for our Christmas cards.   Those of you with only one or even two children have no idea how difficult this task can be!

I'd like to share my photo's that will not be used this year...just so you can smile.   Then I am heading to Shutterfly to pick a pretty design that will make my kids look better than they should!  LOL

Enjoy these

Whole lotta nothing....

I have some time on my hands.   I guess I could be answering that "beeeep" from the dryer and fold the laundry, but what fun is that?    Trying to do my devotions today, but my mind is so flighty and obtuse today.   One thought quickly leads to another and my "thought tree" looks like a hundred year old oak within 5 minutes.    Like this image I "borrowed" from the internet.  Thoughts branching out in a million ways, but God's light breaking through.

I was playing a game in facebook today on an account that isn't really ME.   I created an alternate account to help myself out in games and on that account I am friends with many many people that I don't know.   It is kind of like being a "creeper" and looking into lives of strangers.    A lady that I don't know posted today that she wished she could be more grateful for her life and not be so "down".   Another lady posted that she lost a dear friend through a fight and wondered if they would ever be friends again.   I read those things and thought to myself, " I wonder who you really are?" .    Maybe they are always sad or maybe they get in fights all the time.  What do I know?    I want to reply to them and cheer them up, but who am I?
So there goes my thought tree...branching into different directions as a song pops into my head.  "Who am I that the Lord of all the earth would look on me with love and care to heal my hurt?".    You just don't know what someone is really and truly going through.   You can't see their heart.   Sometimes when a song brings a tear to my eye and I have to wipe it away, I think about how living a Christian life can cost you more than people know.  Following God's design for your life is not always pleasant.   Realizing who you would be without Him in your life is frightening.
Which triggers another song... " she felt such pain, some spoke in anger.  Heard folks whisper, "there's no place here for her kind".  Still she came, until at last she knelt before his feet.  And though she spoke no words, everything she felt was heard as she poured her love for the master from her box of alabaster."    and the bridge says, "you weren't there the night he found me, you did not feel what I felt when He wrapped his loving arms around me, so you don't know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box."   That song is based on Mary washing Jesus feet with her hair and that expensive oil.  How the priest could not see past the cost of the oil and not the value of her life.   Was that oil wasted?   I don't think so.  Jesus saved her from a horrible life and her "cost" was great.
We just can't know...we can't tell what someone has been through.  We don't know the cost of their obedience , do we?   People like to judge me on my no drinking stance or my desire to keep my kids from those rated M games and rated R movies.    I know why I feel that way, I know what it cost ME.   It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks.  It only matters what He thinks.
So....when I read these strangers comments I have to wonder...what have their eyes seen?   The world is a hurting place, but there is "shade" from all the tragedy and pain..there is always hope.   Life with Jesus is really all you need and the rest falls into place.   No need to be so sad.  

Happy Birthday to me...

Wow, I'm 45 now.   Where has the time gone?   I was so cute when I was four.  I sometimes think that having the ability to recall events in my mind with total clarity has it's downfall.   I can remember sitting in Alex's Kindergarten orientation meeting.   When I close my eyes I can see the room and feel the chair.  I remember the smells and the pictures hanging on the walls.    Then I open my eyes and she's 23 years old ready to graduate from college.   wow
I can vividly remember sitting at Caleb's first baseball game.  It was chilly that day and I had to keep baby Micah wrapped up in a blanket on my lap.   Caleb struck out the first 2 times that he was up to bat , but it didn't bother him at all.  He's always been able to handle disappointments very easily.   However, the third time he was up to bat he hit the ball hard and ended up getting a triple because 5 and 6 year olds are pretty bad at fielding the ball.   He looked at me from third base and smiled and waved...so happy to be standing there in his uniform.   Then I blinked and he is at college and in charge of a bunch of other students as their resident advisor.  Taking on responsibilities of an adult.  wow
Sometimes when I sit in the van I get a flashback of driving Micah to his first day of school.   He was pensive and staring out the window , refusing to talk to us on our drive.   I held his hand as we walked to the building and it fit so perfectly into my own.  He looked up at me and said, "I'll try this today, but if I don't like it I am not coming back."   His sense of humor and ability to make me laugh in any situation has never changed.   Now I sit in the van and watch him walk into the high school when I drop him off in the morning.  I feel like if I whip my head around fast enough I will see him on that back seat with his crew cut hair and his little feet dangling over the edge of the seat...staring out the window.   wow
And then there are my memories of baby Jake.   My miracle child who's every moment is so vividly seared into my brain.   When he's on the soccer field he smiles all the time and he ALWAYS gives his mom a thumb's up or a wave.  I wave back and think about Caleb standing on third base...and try to push back the knowledge that Jake will soon be in college to.  wow

So I am now 45 years old.   Last night Tilden asked me if it bothered me that my parents didn't call me on my birthday.   He wanted to know if I was upset that I didn't get any text or cards from my siblings.   " No" , I said, " I guess everyone is busy".   Pam called and wished me a Happy Birthday...one call is good...LOL...thanks Pam!   My boys played zombies on x-box with me for three hours for my "present".   It was fun and a sacrifice for them...as I am pretty bad.   Alex made me some super decorations for the kitchen and it took a lot of thought and prep....and Jake hugged me for an hour and gave me a chocolate cat, which he then proceeded to eat.    I'm good :)

PMS?

My day has brought me to tears and I have to stop and wonder if this is a normal reaction or if it's PMS.   I would have to guess that it's PMS because usually things just roll off my back.

I start the morning at Jake's school to watch his first grade music program.   I asked Caleb to go since he is on Spring break, but he emphatically shares his reasons on why a FIRST GRADE program is not going to be part of his day.  Five minutes into the program I receive a text from Tilden that says, "I won't be there, stuck at work".     Oh well, I have my Flip video camera with me, so I will just tape it for him.   I pulled this picture off the video, so it's not great photo quality.

Friday is my lunch day with Tilden, but I had a project to finish at the school for one of the teachers.    I knew that Caleb was home so I texted him to see if he wanted to meet us at the local Mexican place.   He texted me back that he would, but he was going to be a little late.  I pass that along to Tilden.   On my way to lunch I get a text from Caleb saying, " I am tired of waiting around and I don't have time to waste so I am leaving".   I called him and he said that he had been waiting at the restaurant and we weren't there so he left.   Ummm...Tilden was INSIDE at a table waiting.   Caleb got into a little tiff with me about it and insisted that I was wrong and he was right.   I went inside and Tilden said that he saw Caleb drive through the parking lot while he was sitting there and wondered why he never came in...WHATEVER!
So, I am then driving home and I decide to take the scenic route because the weather was so nice.   I go down a side street and then onto the main road and stop at a red light.   I look in my mirror and I see a police car pull up behind me, so I make that mental note to NOT SPEED.   The light turned green and I seriously only drove one block before he was flashing his siren at me to pull over.   He proceeds to tell me that he just clocked me doing 51 in a 35.   I look at him and my mouth drops and I say, " My van can not even accelerate to 50 in this short distance from the stop light to here."   He tries to explain that he clocked me before the light and I politely tell him that I wasn't even on this road and came off the side street to that light and there was absolutely no way that I was going over 35, but he got irritated at with me for arguing and gave me the ticket..mumbling something about me as he walked away.   PLUS, I didn't have my insurance card with me  :(    I have no idea where that is either.

I finally come home with my speeding ticket in hand...so frustrated that I start to cry and I decided to load the video's from Jake's program.   I watched one and it was sooooo freaking cute and I decided to pull photo's off that reel.   I have never done this before, but it looked easy.   I pulled 3, but noticed that the one wasn't very good, so I deleted it...I thought.   My heart dropped to my toes when I realized that I had actually deleted the VIDEO and not that single photo.   There was no way to recover it and I tried looking at everything I could think of...so these 2 pictures are all that I have from that song.



Then I sat back and CRIED...oh my gosh...what a day so far and it's only 2pm.   I looked at the calendar and said to myself, "hmmmm this is probably PMS".  LOL   It doesn't make me feel better though.    I'm just glad that Jake sang more than one song today and I didn't lose them all.
Micah just walked got home from school and said, "hey mom, my saxaphone broke today"....   NOOOOOOOOO