Wow, I'm 45 now. Where has the time gone? I was so cute when I was four. I sometimes think that having the ability to recall events in my mind with total clarity has it's downfall. I can remember sitting in Alex's Kindergarten orientation meeting. When I close my eyes I can see the room and feel the chair. I remember the smells and the pictures hanging on the walls. Then I open my eyes and she's 23 years old ready to graduate from college. wow
I can vividly remember sitting at Caleb's first baseball game. It was chilly that day and I had to keep baby Micah wrapped up in a blanket on my lap. Caleb struck out the first 2 times that he was up to bat , but it didn't bother him at all. He's always been able to handle disappointments very easily. However, the third time he was up to bat he hit the ball hard and ended up getting a triple because 5 and 6 year olds are pretty bad at fielding the ball. He looked at me from third base and smiled and waved...so happy to be standing there in his uniform. Then I blinked and he is at college and in charge of a bunch of other students as their resident advisor. Taking on responsibilities of an adult. wow
Sometimes when I sit in the van I get a flashback of driving Micah to his first day of school. He was pensive and staring out the window , refusing to talk to us on our drive. I held his hand as we walked to the building and it fit so perfectly into my own. He looked up at me and said, "I'll try this today, but if I don't like it I am not coming back." His sense of humor and ability to make me laugh in any situation has never changed. Now I sit in the van and watch him walk into the high school when I drop him off in the morning. I feel like if I whip my head around fast enough I will see him on that back seat with his crew cut hair and his little feet dangling over the edge of the seat...staring out the window. wow
And then there are my memories of baby Jake. My miracle child who's every moment is so vividly seared into my brain. When he's on the soccer field he smiles all the time and he ALWAYS gives his mom a thumb's up or a wave. I wave back and think about Caleb standing on third base...and try to push back the knowledge that Jake will soon be in college to. wow
So I am now 45 years old. Last night Tilden asked me if it bothered me that my parents didn't call me on my birthday. He wanted to know if I was upset that I didn't get any text or cards from my siblings. " No" , I said, " I guess everyone is busy". Pam called and wished me a Happy Birthday...one call is good...LOL...thanks Pam! My boys played zombies on x-box with me for three hours for my "present". It was fun and a sacrifice for them...as I am pretty bad. Alex made me some super decorations for the kitchen and it took a lot of thought and prep....and Jake hugged me for an hour and gave me a chocolate cat, which he then proceeded to eat. I'm good :)
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